Well, it's that time again, for me to resume my thoughtful spot for a new session. I have been musing on some of the things I have seen over the years. I was there when the Berlin Wall came down. I remember who shot President Reagan from the actual newscast. I also know who Mr. Wimple was, and the product he keep squeezing. I also remember the tidy bowl man (there were several guys in high school I helped introduce to him). I also have seen the backroads of Georgia, the deserts of Arizona and Odessa, but I do not believe I am ready for the Thicket.
For the non-east texas residents, the "thicket" is the undeveloped part of East Texas. If you go back in the woods and swamps far enough, you will find the Thicket People. These people are something I was not prepared to see. I have told my share of jokes about the lack of indoor plumbing, but come on now. I had a customer who was not sure about the "new-fangled" idea of a special place to take a dump. I was a fool, but I had to ask "What are you using now?" The Window. "But what about the glass?" I asked. "What glass?" "Don't you have glass in the windows?" I continued on. "No way! That is just a passing fad like shoes." Then I looked down, and the old work boots I had thought he was wearing had what looked like toenails. I took a closer look and noticed he looked a little like the Wolf-man or maybe Bigfoot. I was amazed and told myself this must be the odd-ball, until I drove around town and encountered more of them everywhere. I talked to one of the old-timers and he told me they leave the thicket on the full moon and invade all the local towns. I found out a few more facts. They don't have a problem with the mosquitoes, due to the fact that they never take a bath, that the smell is "healthy", and the flies are "fun".
Now, I am an open minded person....well at least I try. I was in culture shock. The National Geographic could do an issue on them. I had to convince one of them that fire was not a new thing. I did the best I could to help all that came into my store, but the memories will keep me up at night. The good news is that did go back. I will be ready to defend myself if they come again; they fear soap.
Well, I will leave my seat for the next person, so I'll leave the door open (but be warned there is a bar of soap hanging from the door, just in case).
Well, here I am at my thoughtful spot again, and the air reminds me.....Why is everyone making me old?
I have approximately 130 employees working in my store and I have noticed a trend....I am the old fart. I am having a problem with this concept, as I was always the Kid in the group. Well I was born Forty, and always hung around with the older people. I remember getting run out of an office with a lot of fellow NCOs (For all you non-miltary types Sergeants), for pointing out that I was the only one in the room who was not born when JFK was shot. Now I am having to tell my employees about the "olden Days ", without cell phone or computers. Hell, I remember thinking "why did anyone want a computer at home?".
What brought this to a head? Today I was relating a story to several employees and was greeted with "What was the Berlin Wall?" I know that rotary telephones and writing notes to your girlfriend in class on Paper seems like the dark ages to kids in school. I was asked how we were able to keep informed with out e-mail.
I think what worries me the most is in this day of texting in the same room people don't know how to talk any more. I hope we never have a power outage, they will need to write something, and then what?
Well, I have to give up my seat and get back....don't forget to do your paperwork before you leave. Until next time I will leave the door open...
Well I have returned to my blog to unravel the cosmic mysteries ..... or unroll... well on to the mysteries.
I was in the store the other day and found a product that knocked me flat. Now, if the truth be told, I am an old pro at recycling. In fact, I have sold recycled trees for years. We call it lumber. I also am known to save a few cents where I can. Now I do not fall into the league with a old friend of mine, Ken, who it is rumored to be so tight that he is able to place a lump of coal up his...ah..ah......backside and produce a diamond in a few minutes. I digress. So let us say I like a bargain when I can get it, but I draw the line at recycled toilet paper. Now the first thing I ask is whose paper is being recycled?? I know when I finish with mine I definitely do not want it back! The next question is who is doing the collecting? I know where I send mine, and I do not want to think about the jobsite for this "green" activity (which the smell alone could produce). I continued to read the package. No bleach was used in the processing of this product. Now I was really worried! Not only was this already used, but it was not decontaminated? I don't like to use public restrooms unless they have seen a lot of cleaning. There is no way I am going to switch to ABW (Already Been Wiped) paper and then be told it was not sanitized. Talk about athletes foot, but on a much more personal place!
Believe it are not, I continued to read. I found that it is biodegradable. Now this question bears asking.... How FAST? I want it to stay around until I am finished with it! I expressed these concerns to my wife......she made me leave the store before I started a riot. Let it not be said that I waste, but I have to draw the line somewhere and this is it! Well, I believe that about cleans-up the.... question.
I need to vacate my seat, and until the next time, I'll leave the door open.
I have finally returned to my thoughtful place to ponder the cosmic vapors.......well if not cosmic at least high-octane. I found a new product that grabbed my attention.... Boudreaux's Butt Paste. Now, over the years, I believe we all have heard many stories about Boudreaux's exploits, from hunting to advice for the lovelorn and he never seems to have the right answers. I believe he has blown-up and burned-down almost every thing he touches. Now he makes a paste for your child's butt. I know that when you hear the word cajun attached to any others, it means that unless you have fireproof tastebuds or you like napalm in your mouth, you must proceed with caution. This is what worries me. Do I proceed to apply this concoction to the raw posterior of a child that is already screaming? Now I know that what goes in like a fire-bomb leaves like a flame-thrower, so maybe he has some experience putting out after-burn but I don't know if I trust him that far. Remember he is also the same guy who thought a stick of dynamite was a good way to clean his outhouse. Well you be the judge....I will wait till the screaming subsides. I like my fish blackened not my butt. Look them up at www.buttpaste.com if you don't want to take my word. I need to give up my seat....until next time...Oh and watch out for splinters.
